Caitlin: Hey, we're Caitlin and Katie coming to you from our library living room. We are here not just as children's librarians, but as people who are parenting our own children.
Katie: Each month, we'll bring a new conversation about parenting with helpful resources from our library and beyond. This is "Your Family, Your Library," and we're your librarians.
Caitlin: Before we jump into this month's topic, we want to remind our listeners that though we are pretty good at finding resources and we have experience parenting our own children, we are not child development experts. Our choices don't need to be your choices. There is no judgment here. We are all just doing our best with the health and well-being of our families in mind.
Katie: That's right. And this month, we're talking about parenting myths, like things that we heard prior to being parents that we thought to be true and weren't.
Caitlin: So one of those parenting myths that I always heard and I don't know if it's just exclusive to parenting, but I have terrible eyesight, terrible eyesight. I've worn glasses since I was seven and I probably needed them before that. And my parents always attributed it to me reading in my room in the dark. We did not have a TV when I was growing up, so it couldn't be like you're sitting too close to the TV. Although I did hear that all the time. "You're sitting too close to TV." But I sort of internalized that like, this is why my eyes are bad, because I read in that like twilight of the crack in the door, you know, where the light was coming in. And so I obviously imparted that wisdom on my children, like, "don't read with the lights out, you'll hurt your eyes." And the other day in the car, Haven says to me, "Mom, you know how you're always telling us not to read in the dark? It turns out that that's a myth. And it is. It's a myth.
Katie: Wow.
Caitlin: So I think it's just hereditary. My dad also has terrible eyesight.
Katie: Yeah, I always was told that, too. I mean, with the TV thing or the TV that we had, and growing up, you actually had to like.
Caitlin: Yeah.
Katie: Turn the dial like on and off and like to change the channel.
Caitlin: So did yours. Do you remember like that? You could kind of feel the...
Katie: The static?
Caitlin: I have this very visceral. Yeah. You could kind of feel the static.
Katie: Yeah.
Caitlin: And I like the electricity. Yeah, I'm sure that that was bad, right? Like, I'm sure that we shouldn't have been able to, which is probably why we weren't supposed to sit too close to it. We also had a thing where we had one of those really old microwaves that was like an enormous box that had a metal handle.
Caitlin: And then our stove was right next to the microwave. And if you touch the handle of the microwave and the handle of the stove at the same time, it would give you a shock. So of course we did it all the time after this, and then we would try to, like I have two sisters, so we would try to trick each other into touching, you know, they come up with. So can you hold this handle and then, oh gosh, the stove is on. Can you... I don't know who we thought we were kidding.
Katie: That's funny.
Caitlin: What else? What are some of the myths that we grew up believing and thinking that we would pass on to our children as parents? I think one of the ones for me that I heard a lot was, if you hold your baby too much, then you will spoil them. And I know that cry it out works really well for some people. And so I also heard about that. If you, you know, let your child stay attached to you for too long. If you hold your baby too much, if you don't put it down directly in the crib, then you're going to make them dependent and weak and they'll never be able to sleep on their own. And I did not fully buy into that. But I do think that that's, that's one of those pretty pervasive things that that cycles around and around. And I, I don't mean to cast judgment on this because I know that those things work for other people. Like an absolute charm. They just weren't for me.
Katie: No, it didn't work for me either. And I mean, with Orson, I guess I thought, like, I would have this baby that. "Oh, they just take naps."
Caitlin: Oh, gosh.
Katie: Like, you can just put him down for a nap and then I got, like, some time to do something or whatever. And when that turned out to not be true, and I literally had to have this, you know, chunk like, attached to me and be moving with him in order to get him to sleep. I was not expecting that. I was not expecting to like literally be adhered to each other 24/7.
Caitlin: It's a lot.
Katie: It's a lot.
Caitlin: I was talking to a patron earlier today and I was talking about this episode and saying that we were going to talk about, you know, things that you hear before you become apparent that you believe. And it was Jessica who works here at the library, and she said, "sleep when the baby is sleeping." And I was like, oh, my gosh. I mean, I don't think I ever slept when the baby was sleeping. Never, ever. Not with any other kid. I mean, one. I just cannot sleep during the day.
Katie: Me neither. Yeah. And also, it's just like too much anxiety or it's like "I should be doing this thing. I should be doing this thing."
Caitlin: Yup.
Katie: Like, for me, that was really hard to, like, let up or give myself grace and all the things that I thought that I should be doing to be, like, prepared for when he wakes up or you know whatever.
Caitlin: You know, you have like whatever, 25 minutes, a half an hour or however long they're going to stay awake. And in that time you also have to fold the laundry and prep the dinner or do whatever else that needs to be doing. My mother-in-law gave me really good advice about that, which was This time is really short and don't worry about all that other stuff. Unfortunately, I really was not able to hear her, but she was totally right. I wish that I had been able to go easier on myself.
Katie: Yeah.
Caitlin: I was talking about this with everybody who would talk to me about it and a patron that was heading out of the library as we were chatting about it turned and said, Good advice is take care of yourself first. And she's like, It's not a myth. This is true. If you don't take care of yourself, you're not going to be able to take care of your kid.
Katie: Put on your own oxygen mask.
Caitlin: Exactly. I think she's right.
Katie: Yeah.
Caitlin: Also, I did not do a very good job.
Katie: No. Me neither.
Caitlin: So I think the biggest myth for me, the one that I heard the most and the one that I hate the most was enjoy every minute you're enjoy every minute.
Katie: How is that possible?
Caitlin: Are you kidding me? Yeah. There's so many bad minutes, you know? And it's like you said, it's like you're never alone. My body wasn't mine anymore. Just remember. Remember that we're like breastfeeding sweat, too. I don't know if you got that, but it was just like, ugh. Everything was like, my body wasn't mine. My time was it mine. It was like, I don't know. I'll tell you what. All of that aside, the literal worst is playing cars. Do you know how much I hate playing cars?
Katie: That's like, for me, setting up train tracks. I mean.
Caitlin: I kind of like setting up train tracks. But cars. Well, I don't know how a Toyota Camry sounds like. I don't. Okay, What do you want me to. What's the police car? Police car hungry? Like. Yeah. Do we go to the gas station? Are we having a birthday party for a fire truck?
Katie: And then you're like, you feel bad. Like, you know, not, not participating.
Caitlin: Exactly. And that's another myth that you have to be a number one entertainer.
Katie: I know. Yep.
Caitlin: It's really hard to get out of that one, too, because, one, you pay the price if you are not your child's number one entertainer, like they are going to be all up in your business. I'm so happy that my kids are at board game age now because I love a structured playtime. I love to do a craft, I love to play a game. I am a creative person who is also a theater person. And let me tell you how much I hate imagination play. Like I hate it so much.
Katie: Yeah, I'm with you.
Caitlin: I do buy into that other trope that is, it's good for kids to be bored.
Katie: I very much buy into that.
Caitlin: But like, can you explain how do we let them be weird?
Katie: How are you supposed to explain that? Like you need to be bored? Like this is an important lifestyle. I mean, that's actually what I say, especially to my older kid, even Edwin now, because he's in Kindergarten, he and I can understand, but it's like, you know, there are going to be so many boring moments in your life that you have got to find a way to be able to just harness it and be with it because...
Caitlin: Use your imagination.
Katie: Yeah.
Caitlin: Stand there. What do we tell the kids and I do. A waiting is hard story time. And so some of the things that we recommend is you can sing a song in your head. But you know what? I'm the biggest hypocrite because I hate being bored and I'm literally glued to my phone. Yeah, I try to put it down.
Katie: That's my default too. And I hate it.
Caitlin: I kind of love it.
Katie: Well, for me, it's like there's just so much other stuff that I want I really do want to be doing.
Caitlin: Yeah.
Katie: And then I complain if I don't have time to do it. And it's like. What about those, like, hour and a half that, you know, your phone is telling you, you spent.
Caitlin: Yeah. Hour and a half? That's nothing.
Katie: WIt's like, what could I have been doing with that time?
Caitlin: Listen, those mini videos aren't going to watch themselves.
Katie: I know.
Caitlin: How about, um.
Katie: It gets easier.
Caitlin: Yeah, when does it get easier?
Katie: I think I legitimately thought up until, like, a few years ago, like, pre-pandemic, like. Oh, you know, like, once or like, school age. A lot of this, like, stuff that's annoying right now will just, like, evaporate and, you know, everyone will be in their little places at home doing...[laughter] And it's like, nope.
Caitlin: We're in a little bit of a sweet spot right now. This like third grade in seventh grade moment and. But I don't think that there was like a single moment before this year that felt like things were a little bit easier. And I know I am smart enough to know that it's going to circle back around like it's going to be something else at some point. We're just in this like sort of happy place. Where they both still like us. They both want to spend time with us, but they're also able to do their own thing a little bit, which feels great.
Katie: Yeah, that does feel good.
Caitlin: Somebody else said that they heard a lot of appearance stuff like her kid had curly hair and people would just walk up to her and be like, "That baby's hair is not going to stay that way." So like, unsolicited advice. People will just say anything. Yeah, people will say anything.
Katie: Well, I gained so much weight with each baby and I was swimming at the Y one day when I was pregnant with Orson. And this woman was like, so angry with me. She's like, You look like you're having twins. Like, you shouldn't be that big if you're just having one baby and you're,
Caitlin: Ew.
Katie: Oh, my gosh, what is wrong with you?
Caitlin: Why do people feel like they need to comment?
Katie: I don't know. But it's like stuck with me. It's one of those things I just, like, I can't even imagine saying that to somebody. And like, luckily, you know, it's like, yeah, I was not one of those people who had the pregnancy glow and felt amazing. And it just wasn't like that for me either time. But like, that made me feel even. I mean, obviously it just like, totally shut me down. It's like, Oh yeah, what's wrong with me? You know, like, and it's not like I was just eating food and I mean, that's just how my body was.
Caitlin:I was 100% eating food all day. I also carried really big.
Katie: Yeah.
Caitlin: Like, especially actually both my kids. I carried out really far like the rest of my body didn't gain a lot of weight, but my baby bump was humongous. And I got that twin stuff a lot too. It was...At first I didn't mind, and then I started to really mind at the end. Yeah, like, stop saying that. Or like, you're, you're probably going to be due any day. I was like, No, I'm seven months. I'm about to pop. Like, thank you.
Katie: Yeah.
Caitlin: You were saying earlier that a myth that you heard was that pregnancy was amazing.
Katie: Yeah. It wasn't like I just remember when I was first pregnant with a person, that level of tiredness I had never experienced. And I mean, there's just nothing like it where it's like every week you can feel every ounce of anything in your body, like it's gone. And it's like, I just need to immediately sleep right now. And I was like, okay, this is not what I, you know, It's like I knew that it wouldn't be roses, but like, and then it's just like throughout the pregnancy, like, you know, people saying unsolicited comments or...
Caitlin: Showing me face-first babies.
Katie: Or yeah, I mean, just like not knowing what the experience was going to be. But it's like, I don't know. I've been one of those people, like, my whole life. It's like people are like, you know, you should smile more or whatever. And it's kind of like the same thing with pregnancy. It's like, why aren't you happier about it?
Caitlin: And it's like, because it feels terrible.
Katie: Yeah, I don't know.
Caitlin: My body tricked me because I had an amazing pregnancy with Desi. I felt like Isabella from "Encanto," like I was just trailing flowers, like I felt so good and I would go into stores and people would give me free stuff. I don't know if it's like they were like, picking up on my good vibes or what. Like, I remember going to a Subway and the Subway owner was like, You need to take these cookies because pregnant ladies need cookies.
Caitlin: And I was like, Pregnant ladies do need cookies! I felt so good. And then when I was pregnant with Haven, I expected to feel that same sort of like Earth Mama connectivity, free cookie taking like love is in the air kind of feeling. And it was an absolute misery from like week six on it was like nothing but pain and barfing and gestational diabetes. So like, not only was I not getting free cookies, I wasn't getting any cookies, and all I wanted was potatoes and pancakes. Not together. I don't like potato pancakes, but I wanted potatoes and I wanted pancakes. And I did not get either of those things. So I was mad like the whole time. Mad. What's funny about all this myth stuff was when I was thinking about it and thinking about, like, what I had thought going into parenting was that, like, so much of it is either shifts in time, you know, where it's like the the parenting ethos of the day. When I was a kid, at least where I grew up was children should be seen and not heard. And maybe that's because we had, you know, a very strong tie with like my, my paternal great grandmother. And so it was like, you know, you sort of put on your best behavior and your nice clothes. When we go to Granny's house and you act a certain way and you present yourself a certain way, and I don't know that that's sort of the prevailing thing these days, but it's definitely still in my head. I definitely, we talked about this in another episode where it's like, I am very aware of how my kids present themselves to adults.
Katie: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Caitlin: That's, that's hard to shake.
Katie: It is very hard to shake. Yeah.
Caitlin: Another one I was reading about it was that you should not apologize to your kids because grown-ups are in charge and kids are the subordinates. And I really, really don't buy into that at all. I mean, if, if that's your thing, then, of course, whatever works for your family. But yeah, I think it's like.
Katie: We're all human. Yeah. When it comes down to it.
Caitlin: Yeah. And life is hard and it we don't always do everything perfectly. And if you're trying to do everything perfectly, I don't know. I mean, we put that extra layer of hardship on it. Yeah. Another one that Lorrie said that she heard was her kids were a little bit older, but do you remember this like several years ago there were all those studies that came out about how farm life and germs were actually really good for your kids. And she was telling me that she really understood that that was probably true and that that she got the science behind it, but also was like, I'm not going to let my child eat a worm. Or like, yeah, so like, where's the you know, where's the place in the rule that you fit into with your own personal comfort?
Katie: Yeah. When I, um, Mike and I lived in New York and his best friend Ryo was Japanese. He's no longer living, and he's actually. That's Orson's namesake. Orson's middle name is Rio. He had three kids, and his motto with them was always, You got to let kids eat dirt. Yeah. And that's always stuck with, like, both of us. I think it's just like, you know, you can't be you can't be there for everything. Like, you can't. It's like you got to. And I guess I take that, like, sometimes, like, literally he was meaning like, you got to just let them have the germs. But it's like also, I think you can pan it out to so many things in life, just like, you know, you got to let them try it out, experiment like, do their thing and figure it out. And I don't know, that's just something that has always been like in the back of my mind.
Caitlin: I totally agree. And it's something that this is like a place where Devin and I are not 100% on the same page because he is...Our anxiety does not match up. It's good in that when I get really anxious he's usually not that anxious, so he's able to be supportive and vice versa. But he gets way more anxious about like things that are like right in front of him. Like he'll see every possible scenario for danger or for like the kids, you know, hurting themselves or doing something bad. And that's not my thing. So I will assess situation like if they're climbing something or, you know, eating something or doing something that is like a little bit edgy. I'm like, all right, what's worse case scenario? Like, I'm going to keep my eye on it, but I really agree that we have to let them find their own boundaries. And that's how they learn and that's how they grow. And that is really hard for Devin.
Katie: Yeah. You know, and I mean, to be honest, it's hard for me too. And I think that the reason why it's always in the back of my head is because I had to keep reminding myself, You've got to let them do this. You got. Because I think for me, like with my anxiety to like my immediate sometimes is to be like, no, no, you know, or like thinking about all this possibilities that things could spiral. And I mean, I think I think it's better for me now than it was when they were like super little. But it's just like, I have to keep it running. And like, you just you got to let them be themselves and figure it out.
Caitlin: Yeah, I totally agree. Another thing that I heard, and this is kind of going back to the whole like cry it out thing or like holding your kid too much thing, one of the things that when Desi was a baby baby, his his daycare provider said was that he was, sort of implied that he was manipulating us by, you know, by crying and wanting to be picked up all the time. And, and I, I just can't. But that's common and that carries over, you know, as they get older, it's like you always have to stay one step ahead of your kid. You always have to strategically be one step ahead. Because, I mean, I guess I'm extrapolating that the idea is that they're manipulating you in somewhere. They're trying to like, get away with something, you know? And in reality, I don't know, maybe there are some kids that are just like total masterminds that are trying to, like, get, get away with something or another. But I guess to me that it's sort of go hand in hand with like letting them figure stuff out. It's like they're probably just trying to...
Katie: Well also, like with babies. It's like they're trying to tell you something.
Caitlin: Yeah.
Katie: Or even toddlers, you know, it's like, I mean, yes, some crying and tantrum stuff is like it's frustrating and annoying and is not based on reality. But, you know, some of it is like, I'm not feeling this or like, right, this is making me feel scared. I mean, things like we've talked about in different I'm somebody.
Caitlin: And I can't figure out how to tell.
Katie: You. Yeah, I'm like, super thirsty, right?
Caitlin: Or something is hurting me. You know, I have a photo of Haven where she's wearing these pink flippers, and she's just having an absolute meltdown in the picture. And I took the picture because I thought it was so funny because just minutes before the picture was taken, she was having an absolute meltdown because she wanted to put the pink, pink flippers on.
Caitlin: And I was like, Buddy, like, you're not going to like this. I gave them to her because, you know, you gotta let them know. And she put them on and stood up in them and then obviously could not walk. So to your point about sometimes it's nothing. I do love a haven. Tantrums itself is rooted in nonsense.
Katie: That's amazing.
Caitlin: Yes. Do you remember all the different parenting books that came through that were really like hot, big ticket ones? Like There is, but it was, there's something about helicopter parenting that was really big where people were talking about that all the time. And then the, The Tiger Mom book and now I keep hearing about I think it's snowplow parenting.
Caitlin: I think it's where you rather than like, you know, helicoptering hovering over your kid and making sure that they're safe and okay all the time. And, you know, they have what they need. This when you are like literally going in front of your kid and making sure that the way is like paved and flat so that everything is.
Katie: Okay, I, I see that.
Caitlin: Right?
Katie: It's real playing out in places a lot, actually. Now, you say that. Yeah.
Caitlin: That's interesting. This is the moment where an.
Katie: Interesting.
Caitlin: I get it though, like it's hard to make yourself not make things easy for your kid, especially if things were not easy for you when you were growing up here. But it is interesting to watch how trends change in the way that people plan and think changes totally.
Katie: So when I was pregnant with Orson, I heard about this book by Jennifer Senior called "All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood." And I ended up listening to it on the audio, and Caitlin and I had talked about this earlier, and I think we had different perspectives on it because I was not yet a parent and you were and for me, I think it was interesting to get a peek in, because you kind of they follow a few families in different parts of the country, in the United States and kind of like how their families operate, what challenges that they face as a family with child care and like the real struggles about family that people have. You know, once you have children. Yeah. And I think for me, it was really interesting to hear the perspectives of the different families, but also it was kind of it made my anxiety like, oh my. Like, what are we in for now? I guess for me, because I another, you know, myth of parenting is that I kind of thought like if I have all these all these things in place or if I have like read things about these or about these topics or whatever, like things that might happen, like, I like it, it, it should be make it easier. And that's not true. And I think or that's not that wasn't my experience because you're giving birth to an individual human that is unlike, you know, some generic assessment that you're reading about. Yeah. So I don't know, I thought I thought it was like a really interesting book, but I think I kind of want to go back and, like, reread it or re-listen to it now, like ten years later and see what I feel differently about it.
Caitlin: I would be curious to hear what you think, because for me, when it came out, I thought it was empowering because I had sort of been in this like awash in, in the common, like aphorisms that were like, you know, enjoy every moment. This goes so fast, Every stage is beautiful. And, you know, motherhood is the most natural thing that you can do. And it just it's, it's going to come so naturally to you and the reality was I wasn't enjoying every moment. There were a lot of moments that it really sucked and it was both going really fast and really slow at the same time. And I really appreciated what felt like real talk, you know, to me. It's like, yeah, there are a lot of moments that are truly like thrilling and joyful in the middle of this sort of storm of your body is not yours. And it's, it's uphill. And you have to figure out this stuff, like you said, that's different for every kid in your kid is going to bring a different energy into your marriage or into your household or into, you know, how you see the world.
Katie: Or where you live, what your income is like, yeah, I think I will go back and listen to it as similar resource that I think was also gave a lot of real talk, which I think at that time in like 2013, 2014, it was like kind of new to hear people be so frank about like that. Things are really crappy sometimes. And the podcast, the "ongest, shortest time.
Caitlin: Oh, I love that.
Katie: Part, which was created by Hilary Frank and she is of "This American Life" fame, and like some other NPR stuff. And she had experienced a really traumatic birth and in 2010 created this podcast, which I think went to 2019. But I just remember like, you know, the people that she had on and the experiences that they had talking about things like from all walks of life, all different perspectives and experiences. And I found a lot of comfort when I was pregnant, but also like I think I went back and listened to like most of the ones that, you know, way predated me being pregnant, I don't know. It was just it was like a really great resource to be able to go to and feel comfort. And, yeah.
Caitlin: I agree totally. And I feel like I don't feel like podcasts were super hot when that came out, but that, she got me through some dark times. I really appreciated that. And it's I mean, obviously I've carried it with me and I think what we're doing here is not totally dissimilar where it's like, yeah, a lot of it is sunshine and roses, but it is not all sunshine and roses and we're going to be honest about it.
Katie: Drop by the library during the week of April 8th to celebrate Week of the Young Child with us. We're offering hands on shared activities that encourage movement and healthy lifestyles through music, food and art for kids. And they're going to check the show notes to learn how you can join the fun.
Caitlin: I think I got some of the things that I am most proud of from my parents. I think my mom loves to make things and she's really creative. And so I, I think I pass that on to my kids, too. If we want to try something, we try it, we try to make stuff, we try to build stuff. And that's from her. And I love it and I love the way that they look at her and the way that she sees a problem and figures out a way to fix it. Even if it's not perfect. I love that my kids get to see that. And my dad is also really creative and he is the reason I think that I grew up and became a librarian. He, he used to read to us and he has this beautiful reading voice. My dad does radio stuff too. He's really talented.
Katie: Oh, cool.
Caitlin: And so he, he would stay up at night and read us books. Me especially. Because by the time my sisters were old enough to hear books, we were we had moved to the city and he was working and my mom was working. So things felt a little bit different and at this time when I was really small, I just remember the sound of his voice and the way that he really characterized the narrative of the book. And it, it made it feel really magic and really special. And I think that I give that to my kids, too, because it's important. It was such a seminal thing for me when I was a kid. Yeah, I'm really grateful for both of those things.
Katie: Yeah, that's awesome.
Caitlin: They also did a good job. I think of letting us explore our own interests and not trying to like, put us into an expectation box like letting us figure out who we were.
Katie: Same. Yeah, my parents never, like, voiced like, you know, you really wish you would do this. I mean, they really were like, you know, as long as you're happy and healthy and.
Caitlin: That's great.
Katie: Like, we support you, I think I really appreciate how hard it was for them. I mean, just how every day can be difficult to kind of navigate and get through, like having four kids and very spirited children with like a million different things going on. And I don't know, it's just and I really respect how they did it more than I did when I was younger, which I think a lot maybe some people feel too. And I know for me, like I've spoken about this before, like there's just a lot of things that I wish that I could talk with my mom about now, you know, just like, have a conversation. I was like, you know, what was your perspective in this certain situation versus my perspective? Or like, like, how did you really feel about this? Like, versus like what I saw as a child or it's like you made it feel so seamless. But I know that it wasn't from where I stand now and like, how did you do it? You know, And like, there's just some level of understanding that I have with her that I was never able to, like, make her see that I understood. So, yeah.
Caitlin: That is sad and beautiful. Thanks, guys.
Katie: Love you.
Caitlin: I think there is good advice out there. I think there's one thing that's really great, too, and we've talked about this in other episodes, but in this, although I think it can feel really overwhelming that there exists so much advice and, you know, edicts and people telling you that, you know, even though it's 65 degrees out and you know for a fact that your kid is just flipping fine and that they need to put gloves on, like in the midst of all of that unsolicited advice and, you know, things that, you know are true, there is information out there that is just for you, that is for your situation, and that's going to resonate for you. And one of those things for me was this app called Wonder Weeks. When Desi was a baby, my friend Ruth turned me on to it and what it did was it would tell you sort of week by week developmentally what your baby and toddler was going through. And so you didn't feel quite so much like your pre-verbal kid was just being a maniac. It was like, oh, the reason why they're crying at this time a whole lot is because of, you know, blah, blah, blah, Their brain is doing this really cool thing. Like this is what's happening during this time frame. And I really like that. I think that it's still around and I think there's also a book out there called Wonder Weeks that has some of that same information in there, if you like to get into like the nitty gritty of brain and behavior development. Yeah, I'm sure that it's not like every kid is different, so I'm sure it doesn't work for everybody. But that's the beauty of all of these parenting books is that you're going to find some resource out there that is great for you. Like, I'm sure that yeah, what's her podcast that we be like, Oh, the Longest, Shortest...The Longest, Shortest Time is not for everybody because I know, I know for a fact because I am friends with some of these people that they were able to have a schedule for their kids. You know, there's another thing that's like this truism where like, your kid needs to get up at this time and eat at this time and take a nap at this time. And if they are not at your house and napping at this time, then all bets are off or your kid's probably going to turn into a gremlin and take over like the Midtown mall. Yeah, like that wasn't true for me at all. My kids never had a schedule, although I really wish that I could have done that. My brain is too all over the place, but I don't know. There's something for everybody, right?
Katie: That's absolutely true.
Caitlin: And we've got all of those things here at the library. And if we don't have them, we can help you find them.
Katie: That's right.
Caitlin: Because if it doesn't exist in a book form, I can guarantee you there is some sort of reputable online resource that we can help you find as well.
Katie: Yeah. It also be cool to, you know, if people want to tell us like what myths that they had before they are parents.
Caitlin: We would love to hear that.
Katie: We're like, what resources or your go to or, or are your go-to as a parent.
Caitlin: Please email us at podcast at Skokie Library dot info and let us know your biggest parenting myths and also the things that really stuck with you. We would love to hear about those. Another thing that I think is really exciting is starting in June, Katie and I will be hosting live Caregiver Conversations here in the library and hopefully into the summer will be hosting them offsite. But you can stop in and chat with us and we will have resources to share with you and hopefully you'll have resources to share with us as well.
Caitlin: The library has got you covered this spring break. Visit the library for fun events all week long or check out our suggested at home activities that are perfect for learners of all ages.
Caitlin: Katie, what's kept you going this month?
Katie: Okay, so I have a easier response this month. All right. So I was given some intel on a new candy treat by our favorite Amber Hayes, and she brought me.
Caitlin: Do you mean acclaimed producer Amber Hayes.
Katie: Yes, I do mean the one. The one and only. It is a Reese's peanut butter cup with potato chips inside. And it is unreal. And I'm so thankful.
Caitlin: I haven't tried mine yet. I'm saving it for when I really need.
Katie: Oh my gosh, Caitlin! It's so good!
Caitlin: It's in my desk and it's just waiting for I know that there's going to be a day and actually, like, I think if I had remembered it, it would have been this Saturday because I worked here at the library and it was absolutely bananas and I think after like breaking up the fifth toddler fight, if I had remembered that that was in my drawer, it probably would have saved the whole day.
Katie: And it's not like one of those little peanut butter cups that like, just makes you mad, you know, That's so you have to end up eating like ten of them. It's like, you know, a very nice size, satisfying. It's great.
Caitlin: Okay, I've got something to look forward to. I'm excited about it.
Katie: How about you, Caitlin?
Caitlin: What kept me going this month? This has been kind of a rough month because we are in the final stages of moving and feelings are pretty high and it feels like we have just been working every available moment, you know, cleaning and packing and prepping and, you know, trying to not pretend like we are emotionally shaken. But I had this moment on Sunday where I didn't have anything to do. And it's the first time in I mean, honestly, probably six weeks where I didn't have to do something. And I went to the thrift store by myself. And as I was driving on the highway, I felt this like euphoria. I also had prior to doing this Haven's been selling Girl Scout cookies. So that's been another thing that's happening. And so I dropped her at her cookie booth at Soul Good Coffee here in Skokie. And oh my gosh, they make the best chai latte with oat milk that I have ever had in my entire life. It stays with you. It is so spicy. So I was cruising down the highway listening to a podcast for grown-ups, not for kids. And I was drinking this out-of-this-world chai latte and I had this thought that was nobody needs me right now. I don't have anywhere to be right now. And I have not felt that...in a long time. It felt amazing. Yeah, it really felt amazing. I also found this really cool pair of yellow corduroy pants.
Katie: Wow. Oh, I wish you were wearing those. Those are. I love that color.
Caitlin: I do, too.
Katie: Is that chartreuse?
Caitlin: It's more of a mustard personally.
Katie: Mustard. and personally. Yeah. That's right. Chartreuse is more like neon, neon greeny.
Caitlin: Yeah. And I'm not a chartreuse person. Haven is a shirt, Bruce. She wants to paint her room s chartreuse
Katie; Interesting.
Caitlin: I don't want to be like, No, you don't. Yeah, but I do think that I'm going to let her paint her room, whatever color she wants to paint it. But in my heart, I'm like, You are not going to like it when you are living in a highlighter like you are not going to enjoy this.
Katie: Yeah, I lived in a blue highlighter when I was in middle school, but my parents let me do it.
Caitlin: That's great.
Katie: I mean, it's hideous. It was hideous. But I think it's the coolest thing.
Caitlin: Yeah. So, like, that's all that matters. Yeah. Desi wants to paint his room navy blue with black trim, and I was like. Buddy.
Katie: Oh, my gosh.
Caitlin: It's going to feel like you're in a cave. And he's like, Yeah.
Katie: Exactly.
Caitlin: Like, okay, duh. Yeah, that's what I want to do.
Katie: That's it for us this month. Remember to keep in touch with us. We'd love to hear from you. Email us our podcast at Skokie Library Dot Info.
Caitlin: And don't forget, if you've enjoyed this episode or previous episodes and rate and review us on your favorite podcast.
Katie: This has been Katie and Caitlin with "Your Family, Your Library," produced by Amber Hayes and Sound engineered by Paul Knutson. Bye friends.
Were you inundated with parenting wisdom and myths when you were expecting?
Caitlin and Katie share some myths they've heard over the years and share resources and library book recommendations that'll help you when the days feel long.